SkillHer Hotseat: What Does Professional Respect Look Like Today?

Last week, we brought back SkillHer Hotseat with a question inspired by a recent conversation making the rounds on social media in Nigeria.

A post about whether it was appropriate to address a prominent business leader by his first name sparked plenty of reactions online. Beyond the debate itself, it got us thinking about a broader question: What does professional respect actually look like today?

Is addressing someone by their first name disrespectful, a sign of confidence, or does it depend on the context?

We took the conversation to the SkillHer community, inviting our members to share their thoughts and engage respectfully with different viewpoints. And the response was highly engaging, with members bringing in perspectives shaped by culture, professional experience and different workplace environments.

Here are some of the thoughts shared during the discussion.

Respect Is More Than a Title

Uju believes respect should not be reduced to what we call someone.

“I think respect should not be reduced to titles or whether someone is called by their first name. Context matters. Professional respect is shown through how we communicate, how we acknowledge someone’s experience or position, and how we carry ourselves in the interaction.”

She also highlighted the distinction between confidence and respect, noting that someone can use a first name respectfully, just as someone can use a title while still being disrespectful.

Context and Culture Matter

For Kofoworola, professional respect is highly context-specific.

“What applies in Nigeria differs from abroad. What is acceptable in a tech company is different from what’s accepted in an academic setting or even hospital environment.”

She also reflected on the influence of age and hierarchy in Nigerian culture and how this can shape the way we address people.

“I think the best thing is to read the room, understand the culture of the organisation or environment you are in, and be aware of the people you are interacting with.”

Gbemisola similarly argued that professional respect is no longer simply about titles, age or hierarchy.

“It is about understanding context.”

For Rosy, the conversation also raised questions about culture and whether adopting Western workplace practices should mean letting go of African values.

“Being professional does not mean we have to leave our culture behind just because we want to copy Western ways.”

She believes it is possible to embrace modern professional environments while still respecting African values.

“We can be educated, modern and professional while still respecting our African values.”

Confidence Doesn't Mean Over-Familiarity

Marcellina pointed out that confidence and familiarity should not be confused.

“Being confident enough to speak to someone doesn’t necessarily mean we have to disregard the level of respect that comes with their age, position or achievements.”

For her, professionalism is largely about understanding what is appropriate for the situation.

“Personally, I believe professionalism is knowing how to read the room. It’s not about being overly formal; it’s about knowing what is appropriate for the person, the relationship and the situation.”

Oluwatoyin shared a practical approach:

“When in doubt I’d start formally and allow the person to tell me ‘please call me by my first name.’”

Meanwhile, Tolu encouraged professionals to consider who they are addressing, the relationship they have with the person and even the person's body language before deciding how to address them. She then shared the previous sentiment by saying

“To be safe, your best bet is to address everyone formally (Mr,Mrs,Ma,Ms,Oga, etc) until when told otherwise. It would not cost you anything but you would benefit a lot from it. ”

Emotional and Situational Intelligence

The conversation also touched on the importance of emotional and situational intelligence in professional relationships.

Oluwatomisin shared:

“What matters more is emotional intelligence, situational intelligence, and an understanding of honour.”

She emphasised that professional maturity includes knowing when informality is appropriate and when a certain level of formality is expected.

For Derin, the answer is simpler:

“I don't think addressing someone by their first name automatically means disrespect. For me, I think it depends on the setting.”

The Conversation Continues

While our members did not necessarily agree on every aspect of the topic, their responses highlighted an important point: professional respect cannot always be defined by a title or a first name.

It can be shaped by culture, workplace norms, age, hierarchy, relationships and individual preferences. More importantly, it is reflected in how we communicate and treat others.

The strong engagement from the SkillHer community made this Hotseat a particularly interesting one, showing once again the value of creating a space where women can share experiences, challenge ideas and learn from one another.

At SkillHer, we love conversations that go beyond the obvious—and this one certainly did.